The Life of Harry and Scorpius Potter
by the epic awesome Mii
Summary: One-shots of the couple's life with crazy families, mpreg, new life with children and everything in between! They will not all connected. Some stories will have hurt/comfort, romance, humor or all 3. :)
1. Scorpius Pregnant!

**The Life of Harry and Scorpius Potter**

**Me: Don't ask why. I was bored.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! **

**Also, these are just random one-shots of the pairing.**

**Ages: Harry/Ron/Hermione: 45, Ginny: 44, Teddy: 27, James: 23, Albus/Rose/Scorpius: 19, Lily: 18**

* * *

"Breath! In and out, Mrs. Potter!" the doctor tells Scorpious as he is about to give birth to Harry's daughter.

"It's MR! And where is that BASTARD! I AM GIVING BIRTH TO HIS CHILD AND HE ISN'T FUCKING HERE! I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE HE CAN **NEVER **MAKE CHILDREN AGAIN!" Scorpius screams at the top of his lungs. The doctor felt bad for Harry and glad he doesn't have to deal with his wife giving birth.

Draco, Astoria, Narcissa, Lucius, Molly, Ginny, Al, James, Lily, Ron, Hermione, Rose, and Teddy all heard Scorpius yelling for Harry. Ginny, Draco and Hermione smirk while everyone else feels bad for Harry.

"I hope Harry comes soon. I don't think he will survive if he stays out any longer" Ron comments after hearing Scorpius screaming.

"He will be alright" Ginny comments.

"You just want to see him in some pain" Ron states. Ginny just shrug her shoulders and looks around to see if she sees Harry.

"I don't know what is taking him so long. I texted him a few minutes ago and he said he would be here shortly" Ginny sighs.

"So will the kid be our half-sister?" Lily asks Al and Jamie.

"I guess so" Al comments "It's so weird that my best mate is fucking my dad"

"Don't you mean our dad is fucking your best mate" James says while cringing "I walked on them before. Trust me, I am scarred for life"

Lily pats James' shoulder. "There, there"

Astoria and Ginny laugh at James' unfortunate event.

"I am still trying to get over the fact that Harry is now my son-in-law" Draco sighs.

James and Lucius nod in agreement "I am trying to get over that I will be older than my step-mom"

Astoria laughs at the two men. "You guys at least have something in common"

James and Draco look at her in bewilderment.

"I can't wait to be a grandmom!" Astoria squeals while Narcissa squeals about being a great-grandmom and Molly over the face she will have another grandchild in the family.

"MOM! WHERE THE FUCK IS HARRY?" Scorpius screams from the delivery room.

Astoria went inside the room to consul her son and everyone else followed her inside.

"It is okay dear, Harry will come soon" Astoria calmly tells her son.

"Yea! Maybe he is stuck in floo traffic!" Lily exclaims. Everyone just give her a blank stare.

"There's no such thing as floo traffic, Lils" James states. Lily just hmps.

Then, finally, Harry Potter appears into the room rubbing his head sheepishly.

"Sorry, I'm late. Kingsley made me finish up paperwork. . ." Harry starts before Scorpius interrupts.

"Why, yes, paperwork is more important than OUR BABY" Scorpius screeches. Harry wince at the yelling and went over to his husband's side to calm him down.

"It is time for you to start pushing so I would suggest for you to hold Mr. Potter's hand. Also, may the family please step back or wait outside. Scorpius squeezes Harry's hand with all his might and Harry winces at the pain. Scorpius starts pushing and squeezes Harry's hand harder.

"Good, Mrs. Potter. Just keep breathing and pushing" the doctor praises. Everyone, except for Harry, Scorpius, and the doctor, laugh at Scorpius being called Mrs.

"I am a Mr, doc!" Scorpius grunts.

"Score-dear, may you please loosen up my hand" Harry asks. Hermione, Astoria and Ginny smirk, knowing that Harry will be in big trouble for asking. The rest just shake their head at Harry for asking such a dumb question.

"Harry, what is more important. Your HAND or our CHILD!" Scorpius states.

Harry whimpers "My hand. . ."

Scorpius gives Harry a glare worse than Voldemort's _Avada Kedavra_. "Harry, when I am done giving birth, I will make sure you will never be able to produce children"

Harry gulps "You are not serious?" Scorpius only smiles. Harry looks at Lucius, Narcissa, Astoria and Draco for help but the couple gave him a look saying '_You are on your own'_.

_Damn it! _Harry thought.

After, all the pushing and the cleaning, a beautiful baby girl with black hair and blonde streaks and green eyes is given to a worn-out Scorpius. The women and Lily cooed at the beautiful baby and the men just pat Harry on the back.

"Aww, isn't she cute!" Narcissa and Astoria squeal.

"She's a cutie!" Lily and Ginny comment.

"Harry, good luck" Teddy says.

Harry looks at Teddy in confusion "Why?"

"Because Score was serious about what he said"

Harry mopes "I know, but I will try to convince him not to"

Lucius and Draco roll their eyes. "Only you would"

Harry chuckles and goes over towards Scorpius and the baby.

"So Score, what do you want to name her?" Harry asks.

"Narcissa Louise Potter" Scorpius says.

Harry looks at him strangely. "Are you sure?"

Narcissa glares at Harry. "What is wrong with him naming the child after me?

Harry raises his hands "Nothing. Nothing" He looks at Scorpius and kisses Score's forehead.

"It is a wonderful name"

Scorpius smirks "That is what I thought you said"

Ginny laughs at the whole scene. "Wow, Harry, you are whooped!" Harry gives Ginny a look.

"Why can't you be like normal ex-wives?" Harry asks Ginny. Ginny smirks at him. "I am a Weasley"

Harry sighs and remembers the Weasley's are never normal. Scorpius laughs at his husband's misery and tugs his Auror uniform to kiss him.

"Feel better?" Scorpius asks. Harry nods. Lucius, Draco, and James all gag at the scene while all the females cooed at the cuteness and Teddy and Al just look indifferent.

"We are one crazy family" Teddy mumbles while Al nods in agreement.

* * *

**Me: Done!**

**Harry: Really! My son's BFF? **

**Me: Yep. Now, Jamie!**

**James II: R and R! **

**Harry: You got my son into this!**

**Me: Yep! Bye! :) **


	2. Harry's been rick-rolled!

**Chapter 2: Rick rolled**

**Harry: Really.**

**Me: Yes, I had to.**

**Harry: Why?**

**Me: Blame the music and the remeberence of rick rolling**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the baby**

***Witchtube- youtube for magic beings **

While Scorpius is playing with Narcissa in the living room, Harry is on the computer trying to look at a Quidlitch match on Witchtube because Scorpius was watching the shopping network. Trust Harry to know that he will never win with his wife . . . er . . . husband. Harry clicked on the video that he thought would show the match. However, it wasn't the game that appeared.

It was . . .

"Never gonna give you up" sang a young man in muggle 80's clothing.

"What the hell?" Harry says loudly. Scorpius walked over to Harry after he put the baby in the play pin.

"What's with you?" Scorpius asks.

"I tried to see the match on Witchtube but it wasn't the match. It was some muggle in the 80s singing!" Harry whined.

Scorpius looked at the video and laughed.

"I don't see what is so funny?" Harry asks.

"Harry-dear, you have been rick-rolled!"

**Me: Well Harry, how does it feel to be rick-rolled?**

**Harry: I hate it! How do muggles put up with this?**

**Me: Because it is annoying yet funny at the same time.**

**Harry: I don't see how?**

**Me: Anyway, the next one-shot is with you 2 and your family. Scorp! **

**Scorpius: R and R!**


	3. Poor kids

**Chapter 3: The kids' worse nightmare**

**James II: Should I be scared?**

**Me: Maybe . . . **

**Al: Something tells me, I will be scarred for life.**

**Me: Maybe . . . **

**Lily L: Do we want to know?**

**Me: Nope! Anyway, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING **

***This story is before baby Narcissa**

***ages: Harry: 44, Ginny: 43, Al/Scorpius: 18, Lily: 17, James: 22**

* * *

**20:45 pm at the Burrow**

"Okay, it's your father time to have you kids. I told him you will be arriving there at 21:00(9:00)" Ginny tells them. The teens groaned.

"Mom, we are all adults! Why are you kicking us out? I thought you love us!" They all whine at the same time.

Ginny twitches "First, I am still your mother and over rule you. Second, you need to visit your father. Third, I do love you."

The trio sighs again.

"I just don't want to visit dad after what happened" James mumbled. Ginny smiles gently at them.

"James, Scorpius has nothing to do with our divorce. We divorced before Harry and Scorpius even became a thing" Ginny states.

"I know but it is still weird" James comments.

"Looks who is talking, it is not your best mate!" Al whines.

Lily rolls her eyes at her brother's antics. "I guess we should have seen this coming. I mean Scorpius always blushes around him and dad looks at him like a piece of meat" Lily comments.

Al and Jamie stare at their sister as if she grew two heads.

"What it's true!" Lily exclaims. Ginny rolls her at the scene before her.

"Anyway, you three will go pay your father a visit." Ginny states.

'I need a break!' Ginny thought.

The trio groaned but did what their mother asks them to do.

"You can avaperate there" Ginny tells them, "It will be quicker."

The trio nods and avaperate into their father's house on Grimwald 12.

* * *

**21:00 at Grimwald 12**

The trio arrives into the living room of their father's place. The place looks a lot different after their father moved in. It used to be dark and uninhabited but now it looks brighter and homier. Also, it has a weird feminine touch to it.

"I guess Malfoy stays here as well" James states as he sees Scorpius clothes in a hamper.

"Where's dad? Mom told him that we will be here" Lily asks.

James and Al shrug.

"Maybe he is upstairs sleeping" Al suggests. James and Lily nod in agreement and went upstairs to their father's room. As they got upstairs, they heard a noise.

_THUMP. THUMP. THUMP._

Al and Lily blush figuring out immediately what is going on in the room. However, James is oblivious and goes towards their father's room. Al eyes widen as he tries to grab James away from the door.

"Al! What are you doing?" James says harshly as he tries to get away from Al.

"Trying to make sure you don't do something stupid!" Al exclaims. James pushes Al off him and James walk inside.

"James don't. . ." Al starts but stops when he sees that James, his stubborn older brother like his grandfather, fainted. Lily and Al gulp and go in the room to see why their brother fainted. Their eyes widen at sight of strappy, red heels on the floor along with a nice suit, a spaghetti strapped black dress, fish net stockings and a red, lacy knickers on the ground. They slowly (shock anime style) turned their heads to see their _naked _father fucking an equally _naked _Scorpius. Lily squeaked and Al tried to cover her mouth but it was too late. Harry stopped what he was doing and turned his head to see a red-faced Albus Severus and Lily Luna and sees James Sirius fainted on the floor.

"What the hell!" Harry yells while pulling out of Scorpius(the kids closed their eyes) and putting some covers on himself and trying to cover Scorpius' pale ass with the white sheets. Scorpius is still in a bliss while trying to figure out what is going on.

Scorpius turns his head to see the trio.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Scorpius yells and grabs the blankets from Harry to cover himself. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"Mom sent us over here to visit you" Al says with his eyes still closed.

"Oh . . . yeah . . ." Harry remembers as Scorpius glares at him. "I forgot the time . . ."

"I told you that they would be here soon but nope, you just had to had your way with me!" Scorpius exclaims and tries to cover himself more.

"I didn't hear any complaints. Weren't you the one saying 'keep going' and 'don't stop'?" Harry asked Scorpius, whose face is now beat red.

"Ewwww, dad!" Lily and Al whine, "TMI!" Al opens his eyes and looks down at the dress and women's heels and lingerie.

Scorpius hits Harry on the arm. "Shut it"

"Do I want to know?" He asked Scorpius. Scorpius blushes even redder. "No, you don't"

Harry looks innocently at Scorpius. "You mean I can't tell him about how you like women's clothing. . . "

Al and Lily whine "DAD!" Scorpius blushes even harder and mumbles "Pervert"

"Al, Lil, let Scorp and I get dressed and" Harry looks down at a still passed out James II, " get James. We will be down shortly"

Al picks up James and went down stairs with Lily trailing behind.

After the trio left, Scorpius glares at Harry. "You had to lose control. If you need me, I will finish up in the shower and get dressed" Scorpius gets out of the bed and goes to the shower while Harry stares at his ass thinking lewd thoughts. Scorpius then grabs a book and threw it Harry. Before stepping in the shower, Scorpius mumbles "Pervert".

Harry chuckles as Scorpius goes into the shower. "And you love it"

* * *

**Down stairs**

Albus and Lily managed to snap James II out of his stupior. James looked around and asked what happened.

"You fainted when you saw dad and Scor fucking" Lily states. James cringes at the mental image forever stained in his brain.

"I still can't believe Scor cross-dresses" Lily comments.

James cringe again and Al tries to get images of his best mate in drag out of his head.

"There are certain things I should never see in my life" James cringes.

Al and Lily nod in agreement.

* * *

**Me: That is it for now!**

**James II: I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE I SAW THAT!**

**Me: It could have been worse.**

**James: *cringe***

**Al: I can never look at Scorpius the same way again.**

**Me: You'll get over it! Lily L!**

**Lily L: Plz Review! It makes the authoress happy.**


	4. 50 ways

**Chapter 4: 50 ways**

**Me: This is based of 50 ways to say goodbye by train**

**(Side note) This is a random one-shot. Has nothing to do with the other stories in the other chapters.**

***There are some updates to this  
**

* * *

**Al's POV**

"Dad, you have to get up. You look pitiful" I say as I try to drag my dad out of bed.

My dad cracks open one eye from his old quilted comforter and pull it over his head. I roll my eyes at my father's antics. I try to reason to my father to get out of bed.

"Dad, we are out of food. You need to get up and go to the store." I comment as I poke dad on the leg with a broom head.

Dad sighs and gets out of the bed. He looks miserable. He has not shaved in over a week and has a brown beard, an old white shirt on, and old pajama pants on with a hole in the knee area.

"You need to go freshen up" I tell him. Dad looks at me pitifully and goes into the bathroom to change.

I feel bad for my father. Three months ago, dad broke up with Scorpius, after dad caught the bitch cheating on him with a famous Quidlitch player on _their _bed. _Then,_ Scorpius yelled at my dad because he didn't spend any time with him. I wanted to strangle that little bitch at what he did. He left my father's flat and didn't take any of his slutty things with him. I saw all of his slutty dresses and lingerie in the room. I noticed Dad putting them in the bag so I guess that is a sign that he is about to move on. I will never understand why dad chose a slut like Scorpius. I mean dad can do _so much better than him. _I'm surprised they stayed together for 4 years after mom and dad's divorce a year before.

After my inner ranting, dad comes out of the bathroom _appearing _better than he did earlier. He shaved his beard and is wearing a light green polo, dark blue jeans, and brown loafers. However, he still had that depressed look on his face.

"Ready, Al" Dad asks. I nod and we floo to Witch-mart(similar to a muggle store called Walmart) .

* * *

**At Witch-mart**

Dad and I browse at the vegetable section for some carrots. I frown at the depressed look dad had on his face. I wanted to cheer him but I didn't know how. I sigh until I hear a mariachi band. I stare in confusion and looked at my dad.

"Dad, is there a mariachi band here?" I ask.

Dad shrugs "I have no idea"

I then hear a song being played and immediately recognize it as 50 ways to say goodbye by Train. Then, it hit me. This song can help get my dad out of this funk.

"Dad, this song is for you" I tell him after hearing the lyric about fried getting sun-tan.

I smirked. Scorpius always liked getting sun-tans. He looked like some bimbo after them and always assumes that he is "all-that and a bag of chips" as the muggles call it. I thought about a fried sun-tan looking Scorpius with a leopard printed speedo on. (Don't ask how I know this) I laughed.

Dad looks at me crazy. "No, it's not."

I roll my eyes. Then, I heard about the next lyric about falling in a cement mixer full of quick sand. I couldn't help but smile. Hey, I was in Slythrin. Now, I didn't think about Scorpius in some cement. However, I imagined Scorpius in his slutty, black dress screaming after seeing his _precious _wardrobe (I mean seriously dad, could you not tell that he was a slut) torn or damaged in some way. Trust me, that will make that bitch cry and terrify him more than anything else besides lions and etc.

Actually, the next lyric talked about the lion. I wouldn't imagine Scorpius eaten by a lion. The lion is too good for that. I picture Scorpius being chased by the lion in his skimpy red, women's lingerie with his red, hooker heels. (bra and all. I only know this because he walked around the house with it)

I look at Dad's face and can tell he looks better. I guess the song is working after all.

"So Dad, what are you going to do with all of Scorpius clothes, well if you can call them clothes, and other items?"

Unlike in the song, he can't take them back. I mean I don't want anyone wearing the slut's things. Who knows where they have been.

"I plan to put them in the garbage. I mean I can't take them back" Dad says smiling.

I laugh. All the things Scorpius states that are "gorgeous" or "cute" will be thrown in the garbage. I really want to see Scorpius face when he sees all of his items in the trash.

Dad ends up singing the rest of the song and I join along with him. I saw his face lit up for the first time after the break up. After the song ends, we both laugh.

"I guess you are right, Al. I do feel better." Dad says.

I smile. I guess they were right about music healing the soul. We were almost done looking around the produce area until I hear a familiar _annoying _voice calling my dad's name.

"Harry! Oh, Harry-kins!"

I turn to see my worst nightmare. Scorpius Malfoy, the slut, walks towards dad and I wearing a dress like that Kyary-muggle in Fashion Monster but shorter (Lily made me watch that!), blonde pigtails with blonde extensions, stripped stockings, and black stripper heels. He also wore make-up. I feel bad for that muggle; Scorpius just made her outfit look trashy.

He ran towards us and I cringe. I look up at the ceiling and prayed to God that he will not come towards us.

'God, if you love me, you will not let him near us' I pray. Unfortunately, I was not heard and the slut came near us.

'Damn it' I thought.

The slut . . . Scorpius came near my father and me. Scorpius hugs my father and bashes his eyelashes _trying _to look sexy. I make a face in disgust.

"Harry-dear, I am sorry for what I did. I left that man for you. I am truly sorry for what I did. I love you, so much. So, why don't we put this behind us and be a couple again" Scorpius asks him in an annoying way he usually does when he wants something while rubbing his hand on my dad's chest.

Dad looks at me and I stare back at him as if to say 'Don't let him try to get you to date him again. He will break your heart'

Dad gets Scorpius to let go of him and looks at him straight in Scorpius' eyes.

"Scorpius, I do not want to get back together with you. You have caused me too much heartache and grief. So, I want you to leave me be and never contact me again" Dad tells a wide eyed Scorpius seriously. I smile. Finally!

However, the slut did not seem to get the message.

"Harry! We had something special! Don't you love me" Scorpius screeches. I wince. I really don't know why anyone would want to be with him.

My dad sighs again and rubs his temples.

"I mean it, Scorpius. Leave me alone. Oh and by the way, I am throwing away all your shit. You can get them from the trash can" Dad tells him. I smirk. Serves him right.

"WHAT! HOW DARE YOU!THOSE ARE MY THINGS!" Scorpius screams and everyone in the store looks at us.

"That I bought for you when Malfoy kicked you out for being with me and I really don't care about what you think" Dad tells Scorpius.

"Don't you love me?" Scorpius squeaks. I roll my eyes. Give it up already.

"I did but you broke my heart" Dad tells Scorpius.

"I promise that I will never do it again!"

"No."

"But. . . "

"NO!"

Scorpius looks pissed and stumps his feet while fisting his hands on his dress.

"Fine, then! I don't need you anyway. I can find someone else! You were just some sad _old _man who couldn't even satisfy me anyway " Scorpius tells dad and stomps away from us. He walks away from the crowd. I smirked when I saw someone tripping Scorpius into bread rack .Scorpius slid threw but got stuck because of his zipper on dress a got stuck on the bar of the rack. As he tried to get unstuck, the skirt of the dress was pushed to his waist and it flashed his panties to the entire store. Scorpius realized this and tried to cover it up be pushing the skirt down or waving his hands to cover his panties but couldn't.

Parents shielded the children's eyes while perverts took pictures of Scorpius' butt. Scorpius tried to get out but couldn't. Every time Scorpius moved, the skirt would rise and show more of his ass and panties. More flashes happened. Dad and I went to the checkout lane and bought what we needed. Scorpius kept screeching dad's name while covering himself up from the perverts. Before we left, out of pity, dad helped Scorpius to get unstuck.

"Oh! Thank you, Harry!" Scorpius says happily while fixing his dress.

Then, Scorpius tries to kiss dad but I put cake on his head before he could even try to kiss Dad. Scorpius screamed and let go of dad to try to get the cake out of his hair. Dad and I took this time to leave. Scorpius notices this and runs after us. Dad stops and I groan. WILL HE EVER LEAVE US ALONE?

"Harry, please come back to me. I will do anything! Anything!"

Dad paused and looked thoughtful while Scorpius's eyes glimmer with hope.

"There is nothing you can do. We are done." With that Dad and I floo back to his flat leaving Scorpius throwing a tantrum.

* * *

**At the flat's front door**

"Well dad, you are finally out of the rump" I tell him while patting him on the back.

"You know son, I will miss Scorpius"

I stared at Dad.

"What! He was good on bed and that ass!That is why I put up with him for so long"

"TMI, dad. TMI"

* * *

**Me: That's it!**

**Scorpius: You made me a bitch! I do not act like this!  
**

**Me: That is the point! I want him and Al to have a reason to hate you!**

**Al: You know, if you hurt dad, I will make your life hell, Score.**

**Scorpius: I know that! *goes to Harry* Harry, you know I love you, right?**

**Harry: *rolls eyes and kiss Scorius* Yes, I do**

**Me and Al: Get a room! And Harry. . . **

**Harry: Thanks for the views and please review.**

**Me: See you next time. :)  
**


End file.
